i thought this was really good
stole this from an email...ill write a real journal when something interesting happens in my life....so it might be a while!
Being Twenty-Something
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you
stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are a lot of things about yourself that you
didn't know and may not like. You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or
two, but then get scared because you barely know where
you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so
close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have
ever met and the people you have lost touch with are
some of the most important ones. What you do not
realize is that they are realizing that too and are
not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but
that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you
thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking
for one and realizing that you are going to have to
start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of
socializing with the same people on a constant basis.
But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great
after all. You are beginning to understand yourself
and what you want and do not want.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more
than usual because suddenly you realize that you have
certain boundaries in your life and add things to your
list of what is acceptable and what is not.
You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry
with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone
and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy
and you try and cling on to the past with dear life
but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away and there is nothing to do but stay where
you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed
and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to
get to know better. You love someone but maybe love
someone else too and cannot figure out why you are
doing this because you are not a bad person.
You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over and talk with your friends about the same
topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and
making a life for yourself and while winning the race
would be great, right now you'd just like to be a
contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this
relates to it. We are in our best of times and our
worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure
this whole thing out.
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conti's journal
determined
sad
restless
contemplative
frustrated
okay
confused
tired
blank